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Grieving ProcessThe grieving process was something I never really thought about until one of my clients had to go through it. He seemed to be struggling so much, this reminded me of the time I went through a break-up. The first time I went through a huge loss I grieved for over two years. After that rude awakening I decided that if I had to go through another grief, I might as well understand what it was I was going through and how I could do it easier.Yet the next time I was in the... It took me over a year to get over it. Now here in July 2008 I am going through a break-up which is causing grief and decided once and for all to really understand the process. So here is what I have learned which is making it so much easier to go through. Now hear me, I said easier, not simple, or with ease, or any other feelings that you may think! The process is the process and there is no way around it! It's a matter of... How Long Do You Want To
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Five Stages of Grief
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Seven Stages of Grief
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I found my self deciding that the seven stages of the grieving process was easier to go through then the five stages. The reason was you could jump around to another feeling that made it easier to go through the process.
How Does This Work?
I wish I first could tell you how it works to make it easier for you to go through, yet I can't! Second I wish I could tell you that you go through each stage then your done with it, again I can't!The way the process works is you go in and out of each of the stages in no particular order. Second it is up to you as an individual to determine how long you stay in any one stage.
What I found in myself learning this grieving process was that if I focused on a stage I stayed in that stage longer. But when I focused on an activity, or a future event I went through the stages faster.
Please don't hear that as avoiding anything, because it is not! What it is doing is getting me to have a attitude more positive. Finding the good in things, and knowing from past experiences that when I am through the process I will have something better.
The reason for getting something better is that you find the things that were not quite where you wanted them to be and now because you found things that you could do to make things better, you attract that to you.
What About Death?
How does someone you loved for years that passes on unexpectedly come into play here? First is we are human, and as humans we are never going to be perfect! Things do bother others, no matter who you are!So you find a few things that you would have loved to have different and look at them as changed. Now the stories you have about your loved one is more balanced. You have many stories of the love you shared, yet again nothing is perfect and you determine the things to balance them in your life.
I found most people become stuck when they look at a person, alive or dead and place them on a higher level. Missing all the great things you have gone through yet forget about the times of challenges.
Bring balance not degrading them at all, but do it with respect and love. This will assist you in going through the grieving process a little faster.
Grieving and Adversity
A while back I wrote about adversity and in looking at what it is and how we go through it the two are linked together and can assist us in our growth.The Grieving Process can be better understood by understanding adversity. What I have discovered is that as in adversity, grieving is all relative to what we think and what we believe. Check out the videos of Ben and how he had to face the facts that he really didn't want to believe in.
When he finally excepted things differently his entire life changed, in fact over night. You'll see that in the second video he hid from his teacher and in only one day his attitude, and thoughts had changed.
Remember how long grieving lasts, it entirely up to each individual, so do you want to stay sad, or do you want to live?
